Sunday, December 18, 2011


It is time for everybody you know and don't know to say to Merry Christmas (laugh Out Loud).  Most of these people have not spoke to you in their lives although they pass you in the halls or at the water cooler copier machines never a hello or how are you.

And there are those who you know who are church goers (every Sunday), who treat you as if you do not exist because you chose not to attend church, yet here they come Merry Xmas yelling at you as you make your way to where ever it is you are trying to get to.  People have forgotten what the meaning of Christmas, stand for first lets discuss the fact that Christmas is not a religious Holiday as some would have you to believe.  It was started by none Christian and the Religious Folks picked it up as their own.   Making Xmas about thing with gift giving and inter taming each other was never a part of the original plan of Christmas.  Christmas existed before Christ Was born so how could this be his birthday!

Looking back we know that in December in is to cold for the Shepard's to have been out tending the sheep's, there for Jesus had to have been born when it was not cold out and the Shepard's was still out attend the sheep, however we can not specifically say which month Jesus was born in but we can rule out December.    celebrate first started but it was about giving to children of the poor.

Lets take a look at Jesus and what his commandment was about. Being Christ Like.

"Where I was in jail did you come see about me?  When I was hungry did you feed me?  When I was homeless did you give me a place to rest when I was naked did you clothe me?   and you will ask Lord when were you in jail or hungry, naked even when were you homeless?  I have done many of things in your name, but He will say unto you, get away from me I never knew you, for you are Satan's child. Deeds with our Works is no good, works with out deeds are not enough you must give both your time!

You see Christmas or any other day must be with him each of us must continue to do good deeds regardless of where the need is.  How many of you run to Church every Sunday yet do not work or do good deeds or take Gods words to some one who is in Prison, or send a letter. How many of us give to those who already have because we are expecting something in return.  How many of us help those who are homeless out of work or lost in the world hungry and you did not feed them.  You who judge other for their sins when his words tells us that we are not to judge our fellow man as a matter of fact we are not to judge ourselves.

How long will you continue to try and taking the splinter out of  another's eye your brothers/sister when you have a log in your eye.  You who march carrying banners that states lies and frown up on those whom you have deemed to be sinner therefore are not worthy of the Good News because of their sins you hypocrite you are not of my God who loves every one of his children.  You can not force any one to become a part of your so called church because of you hypocritical ways.

You who have sold your souls to Satan for the few minuets of Glory, but God shows you up for what and who you really are. You who think it is your duties to make other believe will pay for your sins as well, for he said "who so ever will let him come".  But you have all ready condemned them as if you speak for God, you have driving away his children from him and set their ways against him by your own sins.

I'll as you this question Why do you pick one day to celebrate his birth why do you honor his birth and clam to be of his children after all the year long you sinners have ignored God's children by preaching hate and division among his people now on this one day you Wish them a Merry Christmas, you who know nothing about him.
Written by: Marie Russell-Barker,
With love and respect of all.



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Saturday, December 10, 2011


Our family have changed, and it make me wonder why for instance I taught my children to love each other yet there seems to be animosity between the three.  Oh hi I am the author of this writing and a Mother of THREE, grandmother of three great grand mother of three.  Some of my grand-great grand children I have not meet as of yet this leaves me looking forward to meeting them before they become adults.  I also raise two grand children and tried to teach them the love of family.

But this is not about them it's about me and what I am dealing with there is my sister and brother who are suppose to be our mother care-givers instead one want to run everything and speak to other as if they are the authority.  I talked to my mom (who is in stages of dementia) an ask her to come and live with me she thought that would be a good ideal this way nobody will be calling me with all of these things that are going on regarding our mother.  The person who wanted to take over every thing is now claiming that they can not do it all and the person in the home with her is not doing the incorrect thing to taking care of her.  As the oldest I must put an end to everything and step up my authority that was given to me at birth.  This is the way we were raised.

I do this with a heavy heart but on the other hand I know she will be well cared for here with my.  This will clean up some of the time and the person who are getting tired can get their rest.

Now let me explain the person that I am today, I hate pushy people that are constantly at my hills nibbling.  Most of the times to keep down confusion or an argument I allow them have it their way.  No more this is the end of that.  I once loved argument and would not give it up but now I have no taste for it, arguing just makes my head hurt, I am thinking now that perhaps I should bring back that old person that I changed from ten of fifteen years ago, the one who will stand her gowns good or bad.  I am from now on going to stand up to those who speak harsh world no matter how they may feel I am going to stop taking the high road and meet them on their leaver this is my stance as of this writing.

I just though instead of calling this myself and family differences I thing I am going to change it to selfish Marie Russell-Barker.  I am tired of being the I understand person from now own it will be if someone bring it I will meet them more than half way this is my time to stop those who think that they can step on me hurt me and look me in my face and I say nothing damn a peace of family I have tried it do not work.

Those who reads this and go tell some one that it is not interned to be address to this is my thoughts get your life in order before peering into mine.  To those who think that their Families are better take another look.

As I type this things and hurtful thoughts of the things that have been said and done to me things that I did not and still do not deserve. Heart pains are very hard to get rid of it sticks in the mind and pokes at your heart string until the only things that can seem to help are tears but I refuse to do that not now not ever.  I have not done anything wrong except for not take up for me and as of today I will be standing up no more allowing people bully me!

I am so tired of all the bull that I sometime want to just give it all up but that would only say that they won I must fight the battle of all, getting my mother home and taking care of her the rest will follow.  Usually I would close with some sort of a good word today I do not have that stimulus, not now it has faded away like a flower in the sun dried and wizard up all gone with the win.    



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Sitting at my computer wondering what have gone so far wrong withing the family and why have I just now become to know my family and have decided that I don't know these people any more.   I have all ways said that those you think will will not those you thing will not will.  I realize this sound like double talk but to me it makes a lot of sense.  Sister and brother are acting as if they hate each other with one deciding that she no longer belongs to the family (children) personal sister and brother argueing over some one that I love and is my friend acting as if she is an object instead of a person.  I can not list the things that are going on here in my life for fear of some one reading it and drawing their conclusion of the subject matter when theirs is almost like my family Alol and that is a killer.

I am speaking about my personal family now my children.  Back a while I changed my life from some one that I was to the person that I am now.  But always kept my mother's teaching in mind family with me have always come first and that's it.  I thought my teaching of my children would be the same but not by a long shot, this is what I am finding out.  My daughter have grown to be this person that I no longer know.  My oldest son is some one at one time I wished he would be with out of course all of his baggiest I can live with those honest and up front.  My daughter have become sullying and more agitated than she was now it is as if she feels that if she don't know it will not effect her what is going on in the family.  I don't like the way she treats me either (we will have that talk) she accused me of loving my two boys better than he and that I have always loved them better.

I must let her know that I expected that when she was younger but almost fifty years of age she should have grown a little she keeps herself from growth by the way she interact with her family, I can not go into other details but because I would be her all day.

I have all ways treated my daughter as if she was special because she is special to me and will always be special but this strain that tugs at my heart is beaning    to take a toll on me and my life. 

My husband a man that is a total stranger to me we are married no children between us.  All my children are adults and so is his daughter, just because I was raised one way a loving way and care about my children it seem to cause a conflict between he and I.  He believes in tough love I don't I have experience what that can do to a family member who needs you and I will not go down that path of life.  I guess what I am saying is this I was this way when we became a married couple nothing was hidden why should there be now.  Yes my children half especially my elders depend up on me My children father died therefore leaving me to take the place of both father and mother.  I can not just turn my back on them now.

After saying all of that let me speak about myself  for a while hope you don't mind.
I am easy going and some times allow those close to me walk all over me for the sake of peace.  As of this writing I will no longer be that person no matter what the situation  is.  I have decided to step up and stop those that I care about from stepping all over me.  These are my finally days here on earth and I intend to live them the way that I want to not the way others want me to.

Starting now today I will become that person that I was a long time ago, only to those who push and think that I will not respond to their criticizing.  I refuse to live the life others so comfortable have decided that this is the way I must live.

Most have forgotten that I am their rock and if it was not for me they would be up the creek with out a paddle.  I am no longer going to allow any body to push me any longer.  I PLAN