What's Expected For The Future!

Although this blogger is 71 years of age and still looking forward to a better place, I expect to see more of taking care of our Earth, by taking care of our drinking water and clean the air that we breath.  Stop using dirty fuels investment in Win Turbines and getting rid of Nuclear digging for Oil these are the old ways.

I am looking forward to a better tomorrow and it is time we get started with it now, We just reelected President Obama, who believes in science and new technological invention,  Who believes that the World is Warming at an alarming pace,

Some say there is nothing that can be done about that, but  they made it this way and as the world turns so    does everything with it.  Man made earth unsafe for man, now it is time for man to at least admit that we are the cause of the melting of the ice climate changes that is happening right now New York New Jersey are giving us a glance at what this world are beginning to look like, if man don't start  doing something now soon there will be no earth.

We can start by getting rid of plastic, use cloth shopping bags will not only help earth but you as well, they can always be reused and washed.  Stop the Coal Mining from taking the top of our mountings as a matter of fact we need to start looking for ways to replace it as well as gas, and nuclear which is a hazardous to our being.  I am not a scientist and are unable to name all of the things we can do.

We must have strong EPA rules and regulation that must be enforced, stop big companies and oil companies from polluting our air and waters, these are things we can do, so lets make a pledge to write sign petition lets do our part to make a this a better place.  It's A Family Affair. 

BECOMING SELFISH AND SELF CENTERED

Our family have changed, and it make me wonder why for instance I taught my children to love each other yet there seems to be animosity between the three.  Oh hi I am the author of this writing and a Mother of THREE, grandmother of three great grand mother of three.  Some of my grand-great grand children I have not meet as of yet this leaves me looking forward to meeting them before they become adults.  I also raise two grand children and tried to teach them the love of family.

But this is not about them it's about me and what I am dealing with there is my sister and brother who are suppose to be our mother care-givers instead one want to run everything and speak to other as if they are the authority.  I talked to my mom (who is in stages of dementia) an ask her to come and live with me she thought that would be a good ideal this way nobody will be calling me with all of these things that are going on regarding our mother.  The person who wanted to take over every thing is now claiming that they can not do it all and the person in the home with her is not doing the incorrect thing to taking care of her.  As the oldest I must put an end to everything and step up my authority that was given to me at birth.  This is the way we were raised.

I do this with a heavy heart but on the other hand I know she will be well cared for here with my.  This will clean up some of the time and the person who are getting tired can get their rest.

Now let me explain the person that I am today, I hate pushy people that are constantly at my hills nibbling.  Most of the times to keep down confusion or an argument I allow them have it their way.  No more this is the end of that.  I once loved argument and would not give it up but now I have no taste for it, arguing just makes my head hurt, I am thinking now that perhaps I should bring back that old person that I changed from ten of fifteen years ago, the one who will stand her gowns good or bad.  I am from now on going to stand up to those who speak harsh world no matter how they may feel I am going to stop taking the high road and meet them on their leaver this is my stance as of this writing.

I just though instead of calling this myself and family differences I thing I am going to change it to selfish Marie Russell-Barker.  I am tired of being the I understand person from now own it will be if someone bring it I will meet them more than half way this is my time to stop those who think that they can step on me hurt me and look me in my face and I say nothing damn a peace of family I have tried it do not work.

Those who reads this and go tell some one that it is not interned to be address to this is my thoughts get your life in order before peering into mine.  To those who think that their Families are better take another look.

As I type this things and hurtful thoughts of the things that have been said and done to me things that I did not and still do not deserve. Heart pains are very hard to get rid of it sticks in the mind and pokes at your heart string until the only things that can seem to help are tears but I refuse to do that not now not ever.  I have not done anything wrong except for not take up for me and as of today I will be standing up no more allowing people bully me!

I am so tired of all the bull that I sometime want to just give it all up but that would only say that they won I must fight the battle of all, getting my mother home and taking care of her the rest will follow.  Usually I would close with some sort of a good word today I do not have that stimulus, not now it has faded away like a flower in the sun dried and wizard up all gone with the win.    

  

MISSING MY BEST FRIEND MY MOTHER.

I miss my best friend that I have every had we have been friends all of my life, you see she is my mother, and we were best friends.  She is still living and no we did not have a falling out nothing that silly because I can not think of anything being so sill as not to be friends with ones mother!

No My mother have dementia, and we know what that will lead to eventually,  I call he now some times and she forgets that we have talked together the next day.  We once had such a good time together raising our children together helping each other through rough and good times talked about every thing under the sun.  Laugh and cried together.  We were very close now I am left along and quite true fully I am not sure how long I can stand steady in this life with out her.  She looks the same but I know and she knows.  I want to bring her home with me but I'm not the only child that she have and another reason she want to remain in her own home so until that is impossible for her to do I must leave her where she is.

Oh but how I love her and she is being robbed of who she once was by a disease that seems to be unstoppable I prey that soon there will become a cure for Alzheimer, so no other daughter or son or mother will ever have to watch a love one designate before their eye knowing that they are all ready gone just still breathing it takes away memory and the indignant from them, they become shells of themselves.

I often time wonder if it would be better if she had died leaving us but not this way but with dignity and awareness of self.  It is as if I have nobody to talk to about how I feel about my mom.  Most don't want to even call her others I have to remind and then they don't.  My God some times I pray that you would just take her and then maybe thing will not be so hard on her or me.  There are family matters that I don't want to get into but after she is gone I am finished.  It hurts to write these thing but I thought if I just said them out loud if I just had some one to talk to maybe I would not have to write these these things down.  A lot of thing in my life have hurt me but this is the worst pain that I have ever had to bear.

Each time that I talk with her she never forget to ask me about the family, how is this one and how is that one.   She have her good day and her bad one but I guess that is the way it works, some times she acts the same way I remember her being when we would cook our holiday dinners together put up kids toys with tools we weren't use to using but learned to do so.  I think of all the times we would call each other and talk for hours now when I call her she talks for a while and soon say by.  My God some time I pray why her she is such a good mother and friend to have why her.  This is not the end but I must say so long as she would say to me before she began to forget because she said good by was to final but so lone meant we would see each other again.
By: Marie Russell